Quiet and common notions...shared here...with you! Of life ~ our hearts and our home.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Families are Messy...

. . .. . ... .. .. . .  ..  .
Are they not?

Then again... most any, if not all relationships are (or, can get) messy.  Shew!  that is one mouthful, but I think you'll agree... they can also be some of life's greatest blessings.

I recently read somewhere if you want a perfect relationship - get a goldfish.  I find that somewhat humorous.  But true.  And yet, there are no goldfish here.  Period.

Relationships, within families, are such a pain.  Pardon me - as I liken it to a window pane.

Say your looking out, your window, on the ones you love.  You can clearly see what they're doing, how they're living life, what they are NOT doing.  But because of fear of breaking the glass (you know -that fragile wall) between us we'll often pull the shade and pretend we don't notice.

Isn't this so sad?  And yet, it's truly said of all of us.  We've all done this very thing.  The question to ask is, this.  Are we willing to risk shattering their world (and ours) in order to "clean" the glass window of their souls?

Why is it the ones that you love the most, that makes it harder to "hurt"?  Not hurt to hurt, but hurt to heal.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful - Proverbs  27:6 (KJV)

Ultimately, God is their true Redeemer - but he does use us... as in Iron on Iron to sharpen:
  • Spouse to Spouse
  • Sibling to Sibling
  • Daughter or Son to Parent and vice versa
  • In-laws & "Out-laws"
  • friend to friend
  • co-worker to co-worker
  • as neighbors?
How does this work?  Scripture reminds us...

There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  ~ I John 4:18
Pray First.


And, Pray some more.

Because.  Without {it} we have no business knocking out window panes...

Broken glass- just to have broken glass lying around is NOT a Beautiful Mess.  It's just plain - Messy!


  1. OUCH. Have you been spying on me???

    Great thoughts today Bevy!!!!

  2. This is some subject you have pondered on ... I am sure of it. This site is just the pondering kind. I had to sit and ponder on this awhile also! It always makes wonder what prompts a post like this.=)
    A few thoughts I was thinking on, this whole subject has been on my mind ALOT lately, due to circumstances that have been happening in my life. I have prayed so much and wonder sometimes why God doesn't fix the squeeky wheel. Maybe he is waiting on me to step up to the plate. I haven't seen my sign yet, it could be that i am choosing to be blind. When/where is the point where you finally step in and say enough? I have stepped in when I KNOW without a doubt, and it completly backfired on me. In another circumstance it is a matter of somebody (family) trying to tell us all the time where we have screwed up and me just turning a deaf ear to it, but it has made the relationship messy. I was told the other day I need to stand up and tell them where they need improvement/change. But I have a really hard time in doing this as I feel I am just stooping to thier level. You are right, Family/relationships are messy. I would like to read a follow up on this subject and how to help these messy relationships! =)
    ~ Sarah ~

  3. This was so beautifully put, Bevy. I have often grieved that Christians do not understand and obey all the Scriptural admonitions to exhort, rebuke and encourage - all for the benefits of our souls and our intimacy with the Lord Jesus.

    When I have prayed about situations, as you wisely counsel, I have found the Lord usually opens a door EASILY to a conversation I feel a need to have. When you pray, you allow the Holy Spirit to begin His work before you begin yours. Thank you for your wisdom.

  4. Great thoughts! It can be so difficult to confront someone that we don't want to hurt. I tend to just look the other way when what I should really do is lovingly call them out on it (with a huge bunch of GRACE).

  5. You are an amazing writer. Where do you come up with this stuff? What a true post and Im so glad that you shared your thoughts.

  6. I just want to share this with the above commentors and anyone else out there "lurking" and who "doesn't know what to say". It's okay.

    I really struggled to post this for today. I mean really struggled.

    I prayed a lot. As I always do with any post - especially of this sort. But, I just felt it to be from the Lord... that it was something meant to be shared.

    I don't mean anything particular about *my* family... more or less, I was speaking on a general theme. And...Sarah, I don't know if there are any real answers, out there, to be honest. Just go to God and Pray and you'll know if there is a time and place to "step up".

    I'll be praying with you all...


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