Quiet and common notions...shared here...with you! Of life ~ our hearts and our home.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

he can't remember

. . ... . .. .. . . .. . . .. ..  ..  . . . ...

As we sat down to dinner and just before taking hands to pray... how could we pray?... and we were soon to be on our way to Vacation Bible School?  Oh, the irony...

I crumbled into a mess of tears.  Again.

I had been such a grouchy mama bear all afternoon and I was radically letting it show. My poor children.  With my head in my hands I wept, and prayed, and received.

God's grace.  Afresh!


I could feel it - although my spirit was still in anguish and I felt the feelings of angst over my sin... even greater was the outpouring of patience, forgiveness and love of my Saviour.

It was literally like a wave washing over me.  Wave upon wave.  Grace upon grace.  A flood.

We took hands - the children and I - and, they knowing something was very wrong with mommy... Caleb sweetly says (with tears in eyes, too): "Mom, it's okay!".

And, I knew it was.

***

I never fully realized, until having children,  how deep the level of pride can be in someones heart.  Why is that?

Apologizing and asking for (specific) forgiveness is HARD to do... when just ten minutes before I was "lashing out" at them (reacting vs. responding?) - for who knows why... and truthfully now, I can't even remember. 

I love knowing that fact about my Heavenly Father, as well.

He can't remember (he chooses not to remember), our sins - after forgiveness has been extended towards us.

We all slept good - last night.

((Read Psalm 103:8-14, particularly vs. 12. and Isaiah 43:25 - for further encouragement.))

7 comments:

  1. This post brought tears to my eyes. I have been there, too! Too many times to count.

    "He can't remember (he chooses not to remember), our sins - after forgiveness has been extended towards us."

    I needed to be reminded of this! Thank you!

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  2. What a beautiful, honest post. We can all relate to days like that. And those who know the glory of a savior who listens and responds can relate to the rest of your post too. I am so thankful to be one of those people. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel that the Lord of all creation hears me and comforts me!

    Blessings to you, Debbie

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  3. I agree, this is a beautiful and honest post - that's one (of the many) things I like about you! You are honest and it's incouraging and admirable! I appreciate your honesty - and so true, we live under such an amazingly gracious God - thank Him for that! ;)

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  4. Thank you, all, for your kind and encouraging words. It's hard to be honest - like this - humble is more like it.

    If it has helped even one person to know that there is a God out there who specifically cares for us like this... then I hope I was a blessing- through my sharing.

    The hard part is that this is one of those areas that constantly needs fine tuning... and God is doing a work in me - that is for sure.

    Blessings to any and all other Mother's out there who can identify/relate to this...
    We need Jesus! Amen?

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  5. How many times I have been there!

    And then there are those times when I think I was justified in how I treated my children, and still pray... then even greater forgiveness comes. From God and my children!

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  6. um yes.

    Been there a many times dear girl and It's funny how my children always seem to do just what Caleb did.

    "it's okay"

    It's certain that I'm with you right now as I type this because 7 days post baby leaves me in a post partum weepy mess. Matt had to return to work this week because things were slow last week when he took off with me and I must say that was a hard hill to climb this week as I knew he would not be with us. But I pulled it together with the help of God and I'm happy to say we've survied a week!

    I'm singing praises with you today:)

    Amanda

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