Quiet and common notions...shared here...with you! Of life ~ our hearts and our home.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Home :: Sweet :: Home

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Home.  One of the sweetest places on earth.  It can be and it should be.

I told you recently I've been thinking about this a lot.  How our homes are to be this haven on earth?  Sweet, and all things charming?.  Well, I don't know that I've said all of that... yet.  But.  It's definitely been on my mind, with questions like...

How does ones home be sweet?  If it isn't...how can it become sweet?

My thought is this.  The saying Home :: Sweet :: Home is a result of something both felt and known.  It almost has that nostalgic feel to it.  It's something you talk about.  For instance.  If you've been away from home for awhile, you come back, stepping inside the front door... the feelings, the smells, the sights of it all flood you at once and you immediately feel peace.

The lights are on - so to speak.  You know you're "at home".

I know that there is often this humdrum, ordinary feeling when we consider our own homes.  We know "each and every quirk" there is in that old place.  We wish we could change this or that about it.  And sometimes we do, in effort to make it more homey.  It gets messy and cluttered.  We haven't clean-cleaned in weeks.  But if we only knew how many long for the feeling of home (life) that no matter how ordinary it may seem to us... it would be outstandingly rich to them.  Full of sweet reward.

There is something practical (hopefully applicable) that I want to talk about.  Something I am learning.  (a great emphasis on learning.)

As Mothers. As Keepers ~ of the home ~ we have great opportunity to make a long and lasting difference in the lives of our children and on to the next generation.  To all who enter our homes.  Not just our immediate family.

We are the temperature of the home.  The heart of it.  Our common tendencies expressed in our example of our godly walk and talk is sure to make an impression one way or the other.  Lord help me if I'm only remembered as the "crank who turned the wheel"... and not the loving and patient mother, who with oil of gladness, made the flow of the home go round. 

It is so easy to lose sight of this. Isn't it?

Our guard is down and we react rather then respond.  The children are extra whiny and irritable to each other.  There are toys and "trash" strewn everywhere...we feel up to our eyeballs of "where to begin?".  And we simply want to throw in the towel and call it quits.  Only that would just create more laundry - right?   We've forgotten to cry out to the Lord for "the joy of the Lord is our strength."  And... now what to make for dinner?  It's all a tailspin.

Here are a few things I'm learning...in the how-to's of children and homemaking.

  • smile (more often) at them and with them
  • pray for them - with specificity!
  • speak with the "law of kindness on your tongue" towards them or as another version states it ...speak "faithful instruction" over them (quoted phrases, out of Proverbs 31).  Taking the time to truly teach them...what you expect, the proper way of doing a task, the responsibility of being part of the family.  Using phrases like: "Here let me show you..." or, "Here this might work better if you did it this way instead".  Always be quick to compliment them instead of criticizing them. This next thought is a big one for me.  I need to slow down and catch myself with my tone of voice... before it turns into "that monster mom" effect.  I don't want my children to feel shame, like every single thing they do is wrong.  Or that what they do is not worth anything to me or that I can't, rather, won't appreciate it. (they feel that greatly.)
  • be willing to be silly; spending time making memories
  • hold them, snuggle and really, really hug them - particularly when they're scared, sad or hurting
  • using frequent terms of endearment towards them -using the most important phrase of "I love you!" and meaning it.
  • planning ahead to make tempting, tasty meals that they will enjoy and learn to enjoy if they're not so sure
  • live by example using our manners to all we come in contact with
  • one of the most if not the most important thing is to sincerely apologize when having wronged our children - whether it's through our rough and careless speech, not keeping our word, our own sour attitude or simply being unfair.   They need to know we're not perfect and that we (desperately) need Jesus, too!  Every. Single. Day.
These are just a few ways that over time will greatly aide in the makings of a Home :: Sweet :: Home.  Because if MOM is "present and accounted for" in all of these areas then what a blessing we will be for generations to come.  Our husbands will want to come home every night.  And twenty years from now - our sons and daughters will want soak up and relive the memories of good heart to hearts (with mom & dad) and fantasize the tantalizing aromas of hot, hearty meals that made home ~ home.

Notice.  I mentioned nothing of cleaning and or in keeping the house in tip-top shape in the how-to section of what I'm learning.  Maybe more on this subject in Home :: Comfortable :: Home, if you care to come back and hang out.

***
Food for thought.

Growing up.  Was your home the neighborhood hang-out place?  If so, why do you think that was?



3 comments:

  1. A super fine post Bevy.

    And such a timely reminder for me.
    Actually it's a reminder I need daily.
    every moment. every hour as I cultivate these children God has given me.

    I know that home-sweet-home feeling and I cling to it so much too.

    I strive daily to make our home a simple, cozy place of refuge.

    The world is a hard place, but thank the Lord for HOME!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amen to what you are learning! And I enjoyed your 'how-to' list of children and homemaking - this is something that has been strongly layed on my heart for some time now! I also love that you didn't put any importance on the tidyness or state of the home - just the feelings of it. Peace, comfort, love, happiness, closness, trust, joy, etc, these are what are most important. I also loved the trow in the towel but it would create more laundry bit! LOL!

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  3. Thanks Bev, Different things I think about the topic.. It's the only place of relief for the past few years.. this year as been the toughest. Chantel knows she is truly supported and loved here. Also, doing family projects, working today, like our memory garden- planted this past weekend, this summer- swimming together, planting our garden, and eating together, for us has been out when it's stressful, or in, when it's not.. We are a team.. That's what Ralph and I learned, before having Chantel- and after/while dealing with my broken ankle and blood clot. Thanks for sharing.. true, but different in our home. I read somewhere recently.. that money spent on vacations or time spent together, or I would say.. time spent together, and not just things.. is the most important.. Our home was the place people came.. since my parents were positive role models.. I've heard more about that from friends recently. Right now, I'm suceeding at teaching division to Chantel... being a teacher and a mom.. toughest job ever.! :-) Tomorrow just a teacher.

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