Quiet and common notions...shared here...with you! Of life ~ our hearts and our home.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

31 days :: Start with each other ... at home!

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Yesterday, we were at a wedding.

My cousin, Mary Beth, got married.
She, the bride, was beautiful.  They {both} were radiant.  This was the day they both had waited for...
It was a beautiful wedding.  Full of blessing.  Of encouragement.  Of family and friends.  Of the Joy of the Lord.

One of the neat things that happened was during the reception, and I've seen this before, but they had what you would call an "open mic" and it is just that.  It's where you (anyone!) can come to the sideline of the dining area, to the microphone, and give testimony, memories, "advice", your blessing, stories about...to, and specifically for the couple as a means of blessing them.

Good times.  Lots of beautiful words were shared.

Well, my hubby kept poking me in the side to "get up and share" something - from our side of the family.  I being all shy and already emotional (from all of the good things shared already) knew that I didn't really have it "all together" - something to offer that might make sense.  You know?

After getting home, later in the evening and picking up our children from the sitter's.  I was tidying up the kitchen - preparing for today, as we hoped to have guests over for lunch. (The lunch plans didn't happen then, due to a little sick five year old, this morning.) But, last night; with my hands deep in the dishwater - my mind as sudsy, with thoughts, as it comes.  I got to "thinking about" about some of the verbiage that was shared as a general theme throughout their Wedding Service and throughout the remainder of their day.

It was wished that their home would be:
a place of refuge * a safe place * a home built on prayer * with an open door * a place of healing *

{hospitality?} Of course I thought this - double time - as I've been immersed in this very topic for the past couple of weeks... with more to come.  It warmed me.

The word "hospitality" derives from the same root word as "hospital", originally a place of shelter and rest for travelers.

And I got to thinking about my husband's poking me to get up and share - which I already told you - I didn't.

But, if I would have.  Here is what I might have said...

(Addressing the Bride & Groom)

Look around the room, (250+ people) and note the amount of married couples here today.  And if you can, compile as quickly as you can the collective number of years that each couple has been married.  You might not be able to get an accurate number.   Surely that number would be in the thousands... I'm guessing?

That is a lot of years, number one.  But two, a lot of marriage advice and counsel could be shared with you here today... based out of that sum of "experience".   A lot of credibility.  And a lot of commitment -for sure, rock solid.  It's a good and godly heritage.

But.  For sure.  There would we a collective AMEN!, in this room, agreeing that it isn't always pain an trouble-free.  There are certainly moments of some "not-so-fun, nor glorious", things may not go well...nor easy to work through.  A lot of things learned the hard way.

Well, I am only 7 years into my own marriage.  I really am not qualified to share anything to noteworthy in the advice department, basically as I'm still "learning how" to do this myself... but, if there is one thing I can say (or offer?) - it would be this.

Be hospitable towards your spouse- first. 
It starts at home.  With one another... and after that it branches out of your four wall and into the world around you.  People will be attracted to that.  It will be a safe place.  A place of refuge.  A haven. A place where healing can happen...and will happen.

(Beth, the bride.  You're a nurse.  You would get this.)

In the rough times...don't smooth over and just start slapping on band aids - as if to push things under the rug.  Together - be willing to do the Wound Care.  Go deep. and make restoration as quickly as possible.

This isn't always easy.  Sometimes the pain of that is worse then original affliction itself.  But it will be for the best and it is ALWAYS the best thing that can be done.

One of the ways that you can also be hospitable towards your spouse is to keep doing the Small Things.
These things would vary from couple to couple.

For us.  It's probably a lot of my husband's Southern roots... which I'm grateful for.  But to this day - seven years later -he will still open the door of the vehicle, making sure I'm in and settled before shutting the door.

We prepare each others toothbrushes each and every night.  If the one is "there" first - s/he will set up for the other. A little quirky - maybe.  But we've always done this.  IF and when one forgets - that's when we almost get (joking!) offended at each other.

Use your manners with one another.  Always use please and thank you.  I'm sorry.  Excuse me.
          Hold Hands... still.  Just because.

Et cetera, et cetera.

It's just in the repetitive of the little things that over time will really make for some "good health" habits in a Marriage.  I also think in that doing these (random) little things for one another... it would make you want to STAY.

Start with each other ... at home.

(So, that is what I would have said. And then, I would've gone and sat back down.)

Click on the button below to read the previous posts in this series.  Updated daily.


1 comment:

  1. Well, now they can have your beautiful words in writing. Wonderful words, as always Bev!


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