Quiet and common notions...shared here...with you! Of life ~ our hearts and our home.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Hear! to be heard. {the art of listening}

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One morning, my girls wanted to go outside - and find something to do, to play.  I can't remember why I didn't think it was such a great idea, at the time (I'm sure I had my reasons)... and so I asked to them to "wait awhile", inside.  One of them was even still in her jammies..

The thing is.  I must have been indisposed, at the time; perhaps upstairs... and upon my return... I didn't hear them, or see them anywhere in the house.  Immediately, I figured they had disobeyed and went outdoors anyway.  As I went to the front door, to call for them; find out where they were and "accuse them" of not listening.  I found them here, crouching down in what I found out later, was now their "house". :)  They didn't actually go outside but close enough.  I crept off to go find my camera... they didn't know I had found them.

This was a picture!


I had a choice, as a mom!  To either relish in their imagination; listen to their reasoning; smile and take a photo or two, or I could scold them for pushing the boundaries... and seeing how far they could actually get outside. I came this close to scolding.  But stopped.  I wanted the memories instead.  (In fact, I don't think I even showed the girls these photos!)  I wanted to hear what they had to say...

You know.  Honestly, I'm not always this gracious.  The other day, while driving around the thought came to me... that I have this expectation. Without too much thought I quite often assume my children should be robots.  Do as I say, when I say, how I say it and while you're at it - go ahead and do the next thing awhile (as you're expected) because haven't I already told you this once before, a.k.a. programmed you to do as I say, when I say, how I say, etc.?

Truth be told.  I realized.  I have children.  Not robots.

Now.  That isn't to say that there are no boundaries to be had and be put in place... and while yes, there are family rules and expectations... there is also a requirement, on my part as a parent to follow through on those times when not obeyed or fulfilled.  It's hard work and takes commitment, on my part.  If they'd only listen - the first time, every. single. time.  life would be so much easier.  Amen?

Sometimes we just need to give grace!  Enter in to their moments...

Here is another example.

Just last evening.  We were sitting up on my kids bedroom floor, reading a few stories and a verse or two from the Bible. Trying to unwind from the day.  In minutes, my youngest had toys strewn back all over the floor.  She had a little purse draped over her forearm and she was hanging out around the girls dollhouse. By now, we had pretty much finished up reading and I mentioned it to Jayne that she needed to clean this "mess" back up before we turn the light out and go to sleep.   She looked at me in all seriousness, and in her little two year old voice..."but, I'm just playing."  (Oh, my!  The look she gave me...)

It was late, by now.  The kids were so tired.  We have a crazy week ahead.  They need to be asleep already....
I caught myself. Here we go again.  I asked her what she was playing...?  "I'm going shopping", she replied as she began picking toys back up and putting them into her little purse, that swung off her arm.  I snickered...

It's moments like these where I'll find myself...with an agenda.  I'm tired, too!  I want/need to get them settled quickly so that I can get on to the next thing. (I have cookies to bake yet, tonight before camp in the morning!)  I can find myself getting short and irritated.  My robots are malfunctioning... oops!, I mean, my children - they're human too!  They are growing and becoming and maturing.  Their learning...they're absorbing.  They're impressionable.

Bottom line.  The art of listening... is still something I need to improve upon.  I recently came across this little quote that reads:  Children are like wet cement; whatever falls on them makes an impression. 

OUCH!!

I'm taking this one and running with it.  Newsflash:  {because} I'm sure I'm the ONLY  ONE who doesn't have this figured out as of yet (ahem! gasp!)...

Because if I want my children to listen to me (the first time!); then I have got to allow time and room for them to tell me their stories and share in their imaginative play, etc. Respect can never demanded.  It can only be earned.

Hear! to be heard.  This might have to become my new mantra.

A listening ear would leave for sure, one fine impression.  What do you think?

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Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth

I've recently discovered this treasure of a blog...called Strangers & Pilgrims on Earth. 
In fact, JES is my newest follower, here, I believe.  She invited me to come by, sometime, and share my thoughts.  So, I thought I would let you know I'm thinking about doing this link- up from time to time.

Today, was a first for me!!






7 comments:

  1. I wish I could have learned this when I was your age. I was too often "all business." I'm sure you'll treasure these pictures. I just love their little knees touching. ~Pamela

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  2. What a lesson to be learned.... and so true and adorable... Isn't it funny on how children can teach us so much? I am guilty of doing this as well... and one thing that bothers me is when I try to talk to someone and you can tell they are not listening really... and at that moment I just stop talking...
    I think we all as human beings get caught up in the busy of our days and tend to do so...
    So I know for me Bevy, you are not alone in this one...

    I love the photos though... Simply adorable...

    Have a wonderful evening....

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  3. I too wish I had learned this better when my children were younger. I got better at it by the time they were pre-teens and teens, so I'm glad for that.
    I like how they came up with the 'new house'--cute. I think you were wise in not scolding. :>)

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  4. I am happy God is giving you such discerning insight in raising your children and in life... As the ole saying goes, "I wish I knew what I know now then.......: but, life does not work like that.. We are constantly learning and hopefully becoming more like Christ in the process.. You always have such valuable insight...even for an ole Granma..Like me..:) I linked up with Jes this week too. Have a great week and Blessings!

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  5. Loved this hear post Bevy... it was so refreshing to be with you today, thank you! I came away encouraged and desiring to be a better momma to my precious bundles. So thankful for that grace that changes us moment by moment.

    Love,
    Amanda

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  6. Bevy, this was a sweet post... I remember the day a few years back when I looked at my daughter and said, "you are actually a human"... And she laughed, "Yes, mama I am"!!! It was like one of those weird twilight moments in motherhood... They are little creatures when they come to us and we sometimes forget that! Thank you for the reminder :) I can tend to be a no-nonsense mother myself... And thank you also Bevy for the sweet finish to your post. That really took me by a sweet surprise :) Have a wonderful weekend!

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  7. Beautiful post. I am glad you shared it We all need a reminder sometimes. So smart and wise of you to enjoy the moment(s) they don't last long. I know it. It seems like yesterday my 32 year old was this small. I wish I had those days back! I enjoyed visiting. I am following you now.
    Have a great Sunday.

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Thanks for coming by, today! What do you think? I'd love to hear from you.

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