Quiet and common notions...shared here...with you! Of life ~ our hearts and our home.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Craziest Language

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I guess I've heard this poem somewhere before ... but, I had completely forgotten about it.  When I discovered this while reading a portion of it, in one of our local little papers that circulates every couple of months... I just knew I had to share it with my readers.  I smile over it... because my kids and I talk - particularly Caleb - about this kind of "mix-up" in words, of our English language, quite often.

It really is The Craziest Language, if you think about it.

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes; 
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes. 

Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese, 
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. 
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, 
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. 

If the plural of man is always called men, 
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? 
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine, 
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine. 

I speak of my foot and show you my feet, 
If I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? 
If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth, 
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? 

If the singular is this and the plural is these, 
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be named kese? 
Then one may be that, and three may be those, 
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.

We speak of a brother, and also of brethren, 
But though we say mother, we never say methren. 

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him, 
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim! 
So our English, I think, you all will agree, 
Is the craziest language you ever did see. 

I take it you already know 
Of tough and bough and cough and dough? 
Others may stumble, but not you, 
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through? 
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps 

To learn of less familiar traps? 
Beware of heard, a dreadful word, 
That looks like beard and sounds like bird. 
And dead; it's said like bed, not bead; 
For goodness sake, don't call it deed! 

Watch out for meat and great and threat; 
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt. 
A moth is not a moth in mother, 
Nor both in bother, broth in brother. 

And here is not a match for there, 
Or dear and fear for bear and pear. 
And then there's dose and rose and lose, 
Just look them up, and goose and choose. 

And cork and work and card and ward, 
And font and front and word and sword. 
And do and go, then thwart and cart. 
Come, come, I've hardly made a start. 

A dreadful language? Why, man alive, 
I'd learned to talk it when I was five.
And yet to write it, the more I tried felt dumb
I hadn't learned it at fifty-five forty-one.
                                                                                        ~~ italics mine...;)

Simply for your reading pleasure today...


  1. How Funny and True.... loved it... have a blessed day.... xo

  2. Loved this! Thanks so much for sharing!

  3. AMEN AMEN AMEN!!! Seriously!! Our crazy language is basically why I quite homeschooling! Okay...not exactly but almost! Why is it so messed up?!?!? *sigh*
    I loved this - thank you for sharing it!! :D

    1. ha!! I was sort of thinking about that when and while writing this one up. Applauding any and all homeschoolers, teachers, etc...
      How to keep one's self sane while teaching youngsters... just using the correct words in speaking is challenging... especially in our toddlers.
      I'm grateful for those who are so patient and willing to do (teach English) this... day in and day out.


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