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Friday, April 29, 2016

Extending Forgiveness

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Not long ago - I had a dear friend say some pretty hard and intense words that really hurt me.  Though not truly directed right at me, nor intended for me - they came - because of me and I so badly wanted to own them and harbor her angst, making it mine.  Allowing that to drive a wedge.

Does anyone relate to this?

I don't see this friend as regularly as I'd like to!  And honestly, I was glad there for awhile that I didn't have to face her, too soon.  Because, it would have been - too soon.


Honestly.  I had to really process my response.  I had to decide to forgive this dear, dear friend. 

She's right - in her mind.  She is completely right... and there is absolutely no changing her.

This could go round and round.  
My wanting so badly to have her see and hear just how very wrong she is...
Because she is.
See why I say this could go round and round??

However.  Here is where humility, grace, love and kindness go a long, long way.  
And, it's hard!!

I love this dear friend to death. 

When I did see her recently... I was a wreck (down deep).  Oh!!  We had a pleasant enough time and visit - but it truly revealed (in my heart of hearts) just how much I have yet to forgive... 

Truth is.  I'm not perfect.  And, I have been forgiven much.  That said,  I must extend forgiveness as an ongoing and outgoing - from my soul...to others whether they ask for it or not.

 My prayer is that I will simply show my friend all these things (of love, humility, grace and kindness) that will one day soften her heart completely...
And, if it's mine that needs to be softened, just as much, then let it be.  
I pray for the both of us in this regard.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” ― Corrie ten Boom


  1. Forgiveness is a huge obstacle that doesn't resolve easily. You have jumped that first hurdle and the next one will be coming. But I know you will clear it and be ready for what ever is next.
    Well done Bevy! Keep running the course, hitting those hurdles, one at a time.
    When you have cleared all the hurdles, your heart will be full of love!

  2. I have been in your place. Forgiveness is tough. And so is getting over the hurt and hard feelings. But God gives us the grace to do just that. Time... sometimes it's just the time that is needed to heal the wounds. I'm glad you have gotten thus far in forgiving. The rest will come.

  3. Bevy, I think we all have been where you and your friend are or were. I know for myself I sure have. The one thing that gets me everytime is that I honestly thought I had forgiven, but oh the pain and negative feelings I experienced when I saw the other one involved. True forgiveness is such a hard thing, but like the others said in this comment section, You are on your way.. I know I am a work in progress, and I still have a long way to go.. I am Human, but I must keep striving for total forgiveness and a heart full of love no matter what happened.

  4. I can definitely relate! So many times I think I have forgiven, and once I see the person, it's right back to the knees! Praying, repenting, asking for more of His grace, and the ability to extend that grace. We are all a work in progress, and in His time the forgiveness will come.


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