Quiet and common notions...shared here...with you! Of life ~ our hearts and our home.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Brokenness| Intro and Review of Chapter One

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Last week, I was asked, to join up with a Ladies Discipleship Group.  All ladies (various stages and seasons in life) from our church.  We are going to be going through the book, Brokenness, by Nancy Leigh Demoss.  We'll be meeting each Monday - over the course of the next six weeks or so.

When I first was asked about joining in... I wavered.   For so many reasons.   Here are a few...

  • I'm really busy right now.
  • I hate to go out. period. 
  • It's such a hassle getting the little ones ready to go anywhere, so early.
  • I've got tons of sewing orders to do...
  • Another Bible Study?  I'm already doing MOPS.
  • What would the ladies think (who've invited me) if I said "no" - again?
With the fact that I was unsure about participating... and for all of these true reasons I just mentioned... I struggle with feeling like I don't really have a lot of deep relationships.  So, my motives for going were, at best - mixed. 

I knew... here was yet another opportunity to "push myself" forward.  To learn.  To grow.  To benefit - from the blessing of sharing and receiving.

As we shared our thoughts of this first chapter.  I was incredibly surprised to find out that "shyness, loneliness and fear" can and have their deep root of pride in our lives.  Obvious things like unresolved conflict, fragmented relationships, addictions,and hypocrisy... yeah, I got all that.  I could easy see where all those things are deeply rooted in pride.  But, are you serious?  Being shy or lonely?  Really? 

Feeling the tug on my heart to share what was going on in my heart prior to the meeting and as the Holy Spirit began stirring up the mess inside... I knew I should "open up" about it and share.  Of course, I didn't make any sense and began with my blubbering self, trying to explain.

I felt stupid and I still feel that way... when I think back on it.  WHY can't I speak my heart without getting so emotional and choked up?  I don't know.  

 Here's what I was trying to say: 


My motives for coming to the meeting's are mixed... in that, I had all of these excuses on board. I already {feel} like my friendships with other women are surfacey and few and far between. So. Maybe this would be one way to deepen them or get better at building relationships (period) ... just by going. Gulp! Not realizing this could be a sin issue (Pride!) in my life...

All in all... I truly believe that the Lord really led me to this group - just for what he has for me in this. It's the vertical relationship with him, first, that will broaden and deepen the horizontal relationships with others. It;s most likely going to start with Brokenness.



Here's what I'm going to do...

I feel like I NEED to journal this stuff out... as I go along.  So, as we're meeting today (the Ladies Discipleship Group) for our second time - than next week I'll share here what the Lord has been teaching me from today, and I'll just continue through over the next several Monday's on this topic of Brokenness. 

Make sense?  I have no idea how this will turn out in future weeks of writing this out... good, bad...ugly?   But, I do it for myself as a sense of accountability and than for a second reason - a selfish one - so that you'll be praying for me and with me. 

Thank you, so much.


: :  Have you ever been a part of a Ladies Discipleship Group?  If so, how has it impacted you? 


5 comments:

  1. Hi Bev,

    I think it is good that you are participating, even though you are really busy. I have taught a few groups, and after a while, sometimes a core group develops, which is really nice. I also think that Caleb and Aubrey will develop friendships, too. Keep us posted!

    Janice

    PS I posted as Anonymous because the other options didn't make sense! :)

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  2. Beautiful picture Bevy!

    I totally relate to alot of what you posted! I hate going out too! And I am tired of surfacy relationships and busying my schedual for such things! But (as you know) God calls us to fellowship with other believers and it IS good, even if we don't always see it...right?!? ;)

    It is interesting and sadly amazing how pride seeps into so much of our lives! That shyness and lonelyness are examples of that, wow! How we must continually come to the cross, we need Him for the simplest things! Anyways I'm getting long winded here so I'll just close and say - praying for you through all this and I'm looking forward to what God will bring you in this and for what you will have to share with us! :)

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  3. Oh Bevy, I can relate to what your saying. I am so excited for you and this new study. I have been a part of a ladies study and I can't tell you the joy in the past it has brought to my life. {wish I was doing one now.}

    Looking forward to hearing more about this.

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  4. Bevy, so glad you were given this opportunity. I'm sure it will be an amazing study. I am currently doing a Bible study with a bunch of ladies from my mom's church and LOVING it!

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  5. I added myself to follow your blog. You are more than welcome to visit mine and become a follower if you want to.

    God Bless You :-)

    ~Ron

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