Flipping the Script

 .. . .. ... ... ... ... ... . .. .. .. ... .. . . . . ... .... .. 

For the record, I posted a poll on my social media page, the other day, and asked what people would say, in first response, to the question - What Do You Do?  I got a varied span of responses, some were confused (reading too much into the question) and others surprised me, by their answers.  Here is the backstory...

**

It had been a beautiful night for sleeping; cooler than lately... and I had slept great!  Except, that...

I awoke this particular Monday morning filled with a restlessness and angst.  Weary of the feelings I've been having lately.  A sense of wanting to throw in the towel, yet hang on for dear life to things that remain a huge part of me and "my line".  And, that being... what it is that I do.

I love my husband, a lot, I'm so grateful to God for him in my life... but there is (and, has been for awhile) something missing.  I miss - us!  A bond; a connection, that has slipped off into la-la land.  So part of my wrestling is me thinking - "What is my part to play to finding that again?"  (Don't worry.  He and I have talked about this - so he knows I'm sharing this.) :) 

So, here I am.  Stretching and waking up.  I roll out of bed; sitting on the edge... I pick up a book** from out of my bedside table. (at the moment, not really sure I know why I pick this one up!)  I literally thumb through the pages - stopping at a chapter of which the title, that at first read (probably in my sleepiness), made absolutely no sense.  I paused long enough to reread and this time - it grabbed me!

I actually read through the chapter, now, and the aha light kept getting brighter.  This was it!!  This author was definitely on to something.

What I've never said... was a link to what and why I was feeling the way I was feeling about us - meaning my husband and I.

Basically, the gist of this chapter is what "woke me up".   When someone asks what it is that we do? How often do we automatically go to our job and our vocation to explain what we do followed by being a mom of three (as an example) and so on - as though that is our first and top priority - never mentioning our spouse?   The author suggests that - as he had learned from an older persons response to this question: "I sure do love my (spouse's name!)" - that our spouse needs to be part of our top three!  

I'm going to derail for a moment and say this.  I've been going through a lot of personal growth, with my home based business, lately and one thing I've learned is that the words we say to ourselves; in our subconscious; over our teams and our businesses, etc. matter.    So, this was making sense to me.  WHY do we not speak more about what we do - in a literal sense.  And - by giving my hubby his place as first in what I'm all about. then my family, my home and my business... 

Something like this.

Question: So, what do you do?  

Answer:  I get to love on and serve alongside my husband Scott....!! Together, we have three beautiful blessings... I'm a stay-at-home, new-to-homeschooling, mamma - who happens to also have a home based business on the side... etc.

Why do we save "us" as a leftover thought?  It's like we're married after the dishes are done and the house is settled.  It's like we're married after the yard is mowed and the toys get tinkered with and the honey-do list is tackled.  It's like we're married only after the bills are paid, the house work settled and the homework is checked?   The kids get all the immediate conversation and plans or schedule created around  and then we're "married"....with not much energy left over but a head sunk deep into the pillows and "lights are out"....

If I literally only flipped the script...?

I'm wondering if my heart would be more at peace about how I'm feeling, about us as a couple, overall?

So, back to this quick poll that I did on FB... like I mentioned, I was surprised by some of the answers. This is and was NO WAY a put down to anyone.  I simply wanted to see if anyone would include their spouse - as part of their immediate response.

 Heart-warming to read, there were one or two that mentioned their spouse in their top three.

**

My point being in ALL of this... marriages are on the brink today - for many, varying reasons.  Too many, of them.  Sadly, it is a slow fade and I don't want that to be part of my story.  I want to be aware.  Intentional.  I want US to be together - till death do us part.  And, while our days don't always go down perfectly - at the end of the day - we hold hands together (Praying, often falling asleep together, side-by-side!) that even though we may not always be in agreement on things... the one thing, that is true, is that we are together as "US". 

Thinking about each other first.  Professing our love for one another, to others, as something that we do, (a.k.a. Do What You Love!) - may be part of what it takes to flipping the script.  Amen?

(photo credit: Unsplash)

 Thank you for reading!!!  I appreciate it.

**The book: Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas  

In and Out of Practice

... .. .. ... ... .. .. .. ... .... ... ..... .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. ..

I originally posted this a little over five years ago - almost to the date.  Everything about it is STILL the same!!  I felt it appropriate to re share... today!!

**

I felt a little out of practice, with hospitality!  

There is hospitality and then there is extending hospitality.  Both are something I LOVE to do.  Something we LOVE to do, as a couple, in our home.  Both are what we are called to practice!  And, as you keep reading... this is something that my husband does way better at than I.

Because...

For the past two weekends.  On Sunday's   My husband... he did the inviting!

He initiated... and for one of those times...it was a family of six!  Completely spontaneous!!!    The other time - a family of four, whom I did not know - but he and our son both knew, from Scouts!!  What an opportunity!!

I felt a little out of practice.  A little out of sorts.  Spastic!  My nerves were rattled... :)

When life and it's busyness and schedules overrule our calendar and already, we feel like we can hardly stay on top... then, to have this thrown my way??

My hubby loves to tease.  "You wanted a man, just like your dad!".  Yes,it's true! - my father would do this on occasion to my Mom (even when they had nine children of their own!) ... and my husband's right!  I did want this.  I love it that my husband also has a heart for people and "wanting to have them in our home".

Well, needless to say.

I rose to the challenge.

I needed to.

Because folks were coming to our house in less than "two hours!" 
Here's my mantra:  My response makes or breaks a situation.

The thing is...

I felt my husband's care to come alongside, in both instances, and pitch in...

prepping the coffee...

setting the table

arranging the room so as to fit everyone in "better"..

offering to peel potatoes..

running the bissell over the carpets

Whatever else I needed - he was there!  By my side.

Was my house clean?  Tidy, perhaps... but not clean, clean!

Tidy enough?  Perhaps not that either.

But...

If I would have made a scene and had him cancel the plans, his plans... because I wasn't mentally prepared or whathaveyou.  We would have missed out such a blessing!

Perhaps this is a stretch...here.  And, believe me - I am not boasting when I say this.

But, part of me wonders if this isn't my husband's unspoken way of taking this verse to heart.

Her husband has full confidence in her...Proverbs 31:11

I give the Lord praise - that we can work together, as a team, and make others (hopefully!) feel at home... and be at peace.  

What are a few practical ways - I can handle these surprises?  Ways to keep, or stay in practice..?

I have learned that it's okay to keep it simple.

To keep a few "go-to" recipes in the back pocket, is smart, even if it means my family eats the same thing twice in as many weekends!

And, if it helps, don the apron as well as a smile...

If if my knees are shaking underneath, who'll know?

***
Linking up with FMF - writing community!!  On the topic of hospitality!!

fmf :: Should I tell you..?

. .. ... ... . . .. .... .... .. ... .. ... ... ... .. .. ... ..

Earlier this month was our 13th Wedding Anniversary. 

I don't know that too many know - but the ones that do, have gotten used to it, or perhaps they've forgotten.  But my husband and I met through eHarm*ny!!

Yes, that is right.

It's funny how we even "forget" that, that is how we met.  You know.  When something God ordains, like meeting your spouse through "unexpected" ways, means many friends and family may be surprised!!  Which they were.

It's not like we kept anything a secret or anything... it is just the way it was meant to be.  Through a short courting period and a nine month engagement...here is what was kept a secret.

Where we were going for our honeymoon!

It drove many, many people crazy.

It drove me semi-nuts...

Wanna know why?

Because.  I didn't know where we were going either.

My hubby had it all planned out.

He generalized what kinds of things I might need to pack... but that was it.

 

Oh, he's so good at surprises.   And... He's done this several times since.  All in good and fun and helpful ways.  Don't worry.  He is not a secretive person or not forthcoming... always honest.  Which, I love and appreciate...

But, it drives our 3 kiddos bonkers, too!!  :)  "Dad's got a secret brewing again...!!"

You know what I think, about the not-knowing part, in regards to our honeymoon?

Should I tell you?  Or, should I keep my thoughts to myself...?

***

 Joining up with Five Minute Friday and the weekly link-up 

on the prompt word : Secret

The War of Words

. .. .. .. .... . .. .. .... .. . .. .. . .. .... . .. . .. .. . . .

You've all heard this before - that our words are like the dandelions puff blown, scattered to the wind and that they're not returnable.  And, oh how we wish they were.  Especially, if we've messed up!!

It's true.
You can't reclaim your words.  Once they're out there, they're out there!!  It feels like a war sometimes of what words can do.  I can remember some specific times in my growing up years, even into my late teens or now as an older woman, even... times when words really embedded themselves deep into my soul.  They became a part of me - good and bad.

It might not have even been the words but rather the way they were said (just the tone of voice) that made that impact.  Again, that is good or bad...

See?  The war of words... it's a real thing.

This has been heavy on my heart and mind here of late.  I keep thinking of my words and how they impact.  In fact, these song lyrics (by Hawk Nelson) keep rolling around in my heart and head.. I've been humming...

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

If this can just encourage you today - let it be!!
I simply ask for prayers - whispered heavenward... to be that infectious soul of LIFE-GIVING words of blessing and hope and encouragement... whenever and wherever I can.
As a wife.  As a mother. As a sister, daughter and friend.

I found this as something to ponder:
Boys flying kites haul in their white-winged birds; 
You can't do that when you are flying words.
"Careful with fire" is good advice, we know;
"Careful with words" is ten times doubly so.
Thoughts unexpressed may sometimes fall back dead;
But God himself can't kill them when they're said.  
~ Will Carleton
***

Here is Hawk Nelson's song in full... for you to enjoy, as well!



May you have a blessed week!!!  Speak Life...

Wearing well, is a good thing {repost}

. .. .. .. . .. . . .. .. . .. ..  ... . .. .. .. .. . .. .. .. .. .. ... .. ... .. . .

You don't make an important visit in kitchen clothes.  ~ Marilla, Anne of Green Gables

This line keeps running over and over in my head.  I got to thinking about how this might possibly relate for me. 

If you remember the scene (at all) in the movie, Anne had "finally apologized" to Marilla for being so outspoken towards Marilla's friend, Rachel Lynde and she was ready to go and do the same to her.  Apologize.

Anne noticed and mentioned to Marilla just how elegant she looked, just before leaving the house.  Which is when Marilla in her old-school, hard and fast, stubborn like personality said what she said. 

You don't make important visits in kitchen clothes.

As if Anne should know that.  I think Marilla meant well.  She was basically letting Anne in on the "way things were done" in their society.  Going "out" of one's home always meant getting dressed up. Leaving a good impression on someone was quiet important, you see.  Elegant or not.  If you were "wearing well" {that} was a good thing.  It was known as something to do to be respectable.

Are we like this?  More then we realize?  It isn't such a bad idea, is it?  Getting dressed up or special just because we're going out somewhere during the middle of our day.

Or, doesn't it even really matter anymore?

For me.  I've been thinking about this for awhile now.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom.   There are days I can feel as frumpy as I look.  Or the other way around - I probably look as frumpy as I feel.  It's hard and tiring work to be at home all of the time.  We can quickly don the idea that if no one sees me (but the kids) I don't have to "dress up".

But.  I've decided to change all of that.  As much as I can.  I don't go out much... at all.  And, that's okay.  I kinda like it that way.  But...

I've started to wear skirts - most every single day.  I feel prettier.  There are several reasons for doing so but most importantly I just want to look more feminine. (For one, my three year old daughter pretty much refuses to wear anything but skirts and dresses - and she names them!  Like this: "Mom, can I wear my flower, flower, flower dress today?) :) 
I don't always wear makeup - during the day.  But... I will often spritz on a bit of HAPPY perfume...and at least wear me some earrings.  I try to keep my hair somewhat "together".  (I do happen to have a frizzy, curly do...)

I don't want the random day of me getting dressed up and having to hear my children ask "where are we going?"... I'd rather them just see mom looking good, just because.  It matters to my man as well - that I look like I care about myself (and him) when he walks in the front door.  It does matter.

You never know...at least I don't, around here... when someone (family or non) is going to pay an important visit to the front door.  It never fails.

If you have to wear grungy or choose too - because your outdoors (gardening or farming) more then inside your home, keeping home... then wear that smile.  At least, the smile? 

It wears well, too.

Remember?  A smile is a light in the window of your face to show your heart is at home

***
Did you notice the tomato is wearing a heart?  I took that photo this morning because I noticed it while I was washing up dishes.  It looked like it "adorned itself", got dressed up, ready for the day.  I'm pretty positive it is just a watermark dried on there... but too cute. 

And a great reminder for me today.

Wearing well, is a good thing.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.  ~ Proverbs 31:25

{Happy Anniversary} May is a great month!!

. .. .. ..... .. . ... . .. . .. .. . .. . .. . .. . . .. . .. . ..  .. 

I shared this photo earlier today on my facebook page and stated that I loved it for "oh so many reasons". I wanted to see if there were any guesses as to why - and I didn't hear a whole lot about it.   That's okay.

I do want to tell you, though, why I love this photo so much!!

This photo was taken yesterday - after my hubby had just put these window clings in my van window.  (you only see one of them here)
You see.  I was heading out to Lancaster Co. for the day and wondering if anyone would even notice them in the back window since the windows are tinted. He was out there making sure the van was road-worthy and to see me off for the day - as he was working from home, yesterday)...

The early morning sun was so bright overhead - I really couldn't tell what I was taking a photo of.  I did, however, notice that our reflection was in the window.  Click.  Click.

Kinda ironic - I thought to myself.  Adding to the one of the reasons why I love this photo.

You see the month of May is holding out to be some really neat things for us.  Scott and I are committed to one another. The reflection in the mirror of us is a picture of our togetherness.   Moving onward and forward.

Tomorrow is our eleven year wedding anniversary!  In fact - while driving down the roads of the beautiful Lancaster Co... I had a CD playing.  The one created special for our wedding and all of our favorite Christian/Country songs...

One being.  Allison Krauss with Keith Whitley, crooning... "The smile on your face, lets me know that you need me, there's a look in your saying you'll never leave me, the touch of your hand - says you'll catch me whenever I fall.  Oh, you say it best, when you say nothing at all"....

I think I teared up a little as I was out there yesterday.

How true.

I cannot believe it has been eleven years of marriage - all of its ups and downs and inside outs and right-sides up.

In May, one year ago - we started to turn our lives around with using the Plexus products...bringing on some really amazing changes.   And, this is something we're doing together!!!

I love how this photo reflects all of that...

***
Uh oh!!  Change in story just a bit.  What do you see?

So - this morning - I'm heading out the door to take our youngest to school.  I literally pull out of my driveway and lose all function to the van.  I can't steer and lights started coming on.  I coast over to the side of the road - stranded... right in front of my very own house.  Thank the good Lord!!

This could have happened to me anywhere else and even while out in Lancaster - yesterday.  I am so thankful it didn't.

I called my hubby... who was able to leave work early and come home to tend to this...and tend he did.  He figured out the issue yet, obviously, it still needed to be towed/hauled away...  can't do much without a Serpentine Belt Tensioner...   :(

And, I was able to borrow my MIL's car to take our daughter to school... the Lord's provision was so timely.

It doesn't stop there.

Being a part of this company - Plexus - has it's pluses in more than just our health.  It's been a financial blessing to our home as well.  And - we feel confident that some of this extra income can help to offset some of this unexpected cost we incurred - with the van issues.

I just am really, really grateful to be a part of this plexus family.  This team.  It's so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again - I'm so super grateful to have a loving, helpful and supportive husband to walk this road with.  I love it that we are doing. this. together.

Happy May!!  Happy us!!
Happy Anniversary to us!!
What a great month!!  

One year for our Plexus Journey and Eleven Years for our Marriage.

Looking forward to what is ahead for the both of us.  Moving onward and forward.

Five Minute Friday :: Follow

. .. ... .... ... .... .. .. .... ..... ..... .. .. .. .. .. . . .. ... 

He whispered in my ear, the morning of our anniversary. 

The one that marked our 10th!

"I'm sorry that we didn't make plans to go away - just you and I - like we once talked about we'd do..."

"That's okay", I whispered back.  "Remember - all I asked for was that we'd grow old together.  And, that maybe two porch rockers would be nice to add to our front porch!?"

Where you go... I will go.  Where you stay. I'll stay.  I will follow you.

Those phrases came to mind... as we talked long into the night - after dinner out, instead.  Just us!

We talked of the past, present and future.

Porch rockers are nice for these sorts of conversations. :)

What of the next ten years?, we ask each other.  What do we think will follow these...?

To love more. Laugh more. And, live!

And may many more heart-to-hearts come to pass as we go - this life together!
What you do, where you go - I will follow!
(just don't go too fast... stick with me)
Side by side... is best!
***
Joining up with Kate from Heading Home and Five Minute Friday!

Celebrating Ten

.. .. .... .. .. ... .. ... .. .. ... ... . .. .. ... . .. .. . .. . . ..

Ten years ago, today, we said " I do".
Happy Anniversary - to the love of my life!
 Here are three of the best blessings- ever!- that came, because of it.
We are so blessed!

 

***

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, 

it has to be made, like bread:

remade all the time, made new.

~ Ursula Le Guin

***

If you ask, I would say yes!!  Yes, I would.  I would do it all over again. 

And, I'm looking forward to many, many more years of standing by my man!

A loving and faithful husband..

A handful of lively and loving kiddos..

A place to call home..

and then some.

Wow!

I'm just basking in the blessings of my loving Saviour, today!

** Permission was requested, and granted, in the use of these photos ~ thank you, Kaitlin!  These were taken on our vacation time in Canada on Easter Morning!

One Special Wedding Day {Justin & Kelsey}

. .. . .... . .... ...... .. ... ... . .. .... ... .. .. .. .  .. ..

The last couple of weeks have been busy - helping - and readying my brother, Justin, and his girl for their 

Special Wedding Day!

Which happened to be this past Sunday - afternoon.

Lots of love, time and energy.  Not just from me - oh no!  I feel like I hardly did a thing.  But, everyone...involved.

The two Mothers (of the bride and groom)...were especially busy!

As well as many other friends and family members.

So - here, today, is just a fun filled documentary of photos trying to capture - in a sense - the joy of the day - we still hold dear - in our hearts.

The day we welcomed Kelsey into our family - as Sister (in-love)!

All photos of "bridal wreath" tucked in and around for floral displays...

***

Enjoy the photos!  

The first few, here, are from their Wedding Shower (a couple of weeks ago) and of a few gifts, that I made, by hand, to bless them with.

Mr, & Mrs. sign - took some tweaking and redoing for it to be just right... one of our gifts to the Bride and Groom.

Here are a few snapshots from the Rehearsal....

One handsome and nervous Ring - Bearer!

Getting ready to head to the Church, Sunday afternoon, before the Ceremony...

It was neat!!  They obviously couldn't pick just one flower girl; or ring bearer... so they included all of the nieces and both nephews as part of their special day!

My Mom (a.k.a. Grandma Rhoda) had sewn up all these little "Flower Girl" dresses.  I only helped...

A few, now, from the actual wedding ceremony... and folks... there were so many "photos" I missed... due to just sitting, wiping tears and enjoying the service.  I had the perfect seat... and still I missed so many. :)  It was a beautiful day!!

My uncle Vernon officiated the wedding!  He would by my Dad's older brother.  We really missed having my Dad here, on earth, to witness his firstborn son's wedding day!  (lots of tears...bittersweet, of course!)  I'm sure he was smiling, too!!

This first photo was taken from the "best seat" in the house...in my opinion. :)  I felt blessed!

Father and Daughter danced to Butterfly Kisses.  And the Mr. & Mrs. danced their first dance to a Frank Sinatra favorite tune.

Aubrey took this photo (and many more of these posted here, today!) - and it's one of my favs!

The Bride's Bouquet!

The remaining  photos are just a few favorite photos of the day - with really no rhyme or reason... just friends and family!!

The ultimate photo bomber - right here!!

dear friends!! and guests

***
One of the hymns, in the Wedding Ceremony, was sung by a trio of folks from our church - a song originally done by The Martins.
We all said - "move over Martins" - because these three just knocked it out of the park!  It was so, so beautifully sung.  The acoustics in the church were astounding!
I regret that I did not get, at least, their photo.  Nor, did I record them singing this.  Big Fail on my part.  So, we'll just have to close out this post with THE LORD'S PRAYER - sung by The Martins, instead.  Please, enjoy!!

***
Congratulations to the Happy Couple!!
And, boy... are they ever happy.  Let's just say - if we were to see them right about now... well... we'd never even be noticed.  There is not another soul on the earth right now!! :)  It's beautiful!!