What Boldness Brings

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"My boldness is directly linked to someone else's blessing."

I not sure where I first heard this quote... but it is one that has stuck with me... for sure!  I take it to mean... that certainly... I have something to offer.  Someone NEEDS what I have to offer.   I need not shrink back from being a blessing.  When I hold back out of fear or feeling of inadequacy...I'm doing others, and myself, a disservice.   

Do you ever think like this - for yourself??  

****

I took a stroll back through the "five" posts that I mustered to put together for this year of 2020.  Sad!!  But - yes...I shared as the Lord led me and so I want to celebrate those.  

(Okay, if I count correctly - I actually had twelve posts for the year.  One a month, or so.  Not terrible, I suppose...)

In one of those earlier posts - I talked about the word I chose, for the year of 2020 which was the word CULTIVATE.  Little did I know how much this would be needed in my life and I'm so glad.  What a great year for it, too.  So, while 2020 was quite the year and difficult for all in many ways.  I say, for me, it was one of my favorite years.   I'm choosing to collect the blessings that I've had and felt...and this word - has definitely brought with it, fruition which I'm truly grateful about.  But... it's not over.  There is still more work to be done.  And, so with that comes blessing in boldness.

I'm already sensing a new word - for 2021.   Stay tuned!!!

****

As the New Year approaches... what is something that you look forward to?  What is that one thing that you will live out the God-ordained days of this year for, with a dedicated heart?   When looking back, what will be the "no regret" part that you will hold dear?  

Here is where and how I will answer these questions.  As the New Year quickly approaches... I look forward to a greater sense of God's peace and presence.  With a dedicated heart to living out my God-ordained days...for the coming year... I will give HIM my all, in all.  I want to be able to look back with a no-regret mindset... because I've been intentional with my time, talents and relationships.

My boldness, today, is directly linked to someone else's blessing tomorrow.

As we head to a close on this year of 2020...

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.  ~Numbers 6:24-26, ESV

I wonder...

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What if you have been praying and praying for something to change and in your heart you know that what you decide is really going to shake things up.  Can you relate to this?  Let me ask this...

Have you ever been truly misunderstood, before?  If so.  Did you expect it to happen, or did it come as a shock, to you?  How did it make you feel?

I can remember three specific times, in my lifetime - where I knew it was going to probably happen.  I also knew I would have to be okay with the fact that people (mostly close friends and family) were not going to understand me; that, they weren't too sure - what I was up to...and why?   "Why in the world would Bevy ever rock the boat?"... I know, was the question.  It wasn't my nature.  I wasn't the type.  People liked me for who I was.  They were comfortable.  Why change - anything?  I remember reassuring myself and resolving myself to this... it truly was going to be okay.  

Here are those three specific moments...

1. When I parted with the conservative, Mennonite church over 20 years ago.  Don't get me wrong.  I appreciate my godly heritage...and, I STILL love Jesus with my whole heart - he's ALL that matters! Truly.

2. When I met my hubby online through eHarmony.  BTW: We've been happily married now for 15 years and have three beautiful blessings to wrap our hearts and arms around. We love our kids!!

3. When I started my own home-based, business - in health and wellness, little over 5 years ago.  Little did I know - that THIS was going to be SOOOO AMAZING!!  Not sure which is better - the opportunity or the products!?!  They truly go hand in hand.

Being misunderstood; was it easy, for me?  No!  But, each time I chose to stand strong in where I knew God was leading me.  And... EACH decision... has been life-changing; life-enriching, for me, as well.  I'm sure life will be filled with more of these times of misunderstandings - as time moves on.  It's sort of the nature of life.  However, I'm #sograteful for each of these times in my life, being part of my story. :)

My biggest takeaway and one that I want to encourage you to consider, is this:  Don't shy away from something you know is most likely to be an answer to the prayers of your heart.  I often wonder, what if I had said "NO!!!" and kept to my comfort zone... I wonder where I'd truly be today?  

Would that be the same for you??  

Flipping the Script

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For the record, I posted a poll on my social media page, the other day, and asked what people would say, in first response, to the question - What Do You Do?  I got a varied span of responses, some were confused (reading too much into the question) and others surprised me, by their answers.  Here is the backstory...

**

It had been a beautiful night for sleeping; cooler than lately... and I had slept great!  Except, that...

I awoke this particular Monday morning filled with a restlessness and angst.  Weary of the feelings I've been having lately.  A sense of wanting to throw in the towel, yet hang on for dear life to things that remain a huge part of me and "my line".  And, that being... what it is that I do.

I love my husband, a lot, I'm so grateful to God for him in my life... but there is (and, has been for awhile) something missing.  I miss - us!  A bond; a connection, that has slipped off into la-la land.  So part of my wrestling is me thinking - "What is my part to play to finding that again?"  (Don't worry.  He and I have talked about this - so he knows I'm sharing this.) :) 

So, here I am.  Stretching and waking up.  I roll out of bed; sitting on the edge... I pick up a book** from out of my bedside table. (at the moment, not really sure I know why I pick this one up!)  I literally thumb through the pages - stopping at a chapter of which the title, that at first read (probably in my sleepiness), made absolutely no sense.  I paused long enough to reread and this time - it grabbed me!

I actually read through the chapter, now, and the aha light kept getting brighter.  This was it!!  This author was definitely on to something.

What I've never said... was a link to what and why I was feeling the way I was feeling about us - meaning my husband and I.

Basically, the gist of this chapter is what "woke me up".   When someone asks what it is that we do? How often do we automatically go to our job and our vocation to explain what we do followed by being a mom of three (as an example) and so on - as though that is our first and top priority - never mentioning our spouse?   The author suggests that - as he had learned from an older persons response to this question: "I sure do love my (spouse's name!)" - that our spouse needs to be part of our top three!  

I'm going to derail for a moment and say this.  I've been going through a lot of personal growth, with my home based business, lately and one thing I've learned is that the words we say to ourselves; in our subconscious; over our teams and our businesses, etc. matter.    So, this was making sense to me.  WHY do we not speak more about what we do - in a literal sense.  And - by giving my hubby his place as first in what I'm all about. then my family, my home and my business... 

Something like this.

Question: So, what do you do?  

Answer:  I get to love on and serve alongside my husband Scott....!! Together, we have three beautiful blessings... I'm a stay-at-home, new-to-homeschooling, mamma - who happens to also have a home based business on the side... etc.

Why do we save "us" as a leftover thought?  It's like we're married after the dishes are done and the house is settled.  It's like we're married after the yard is mowed and the toys get tinkered with and the honey-do list is tackled.  It's like we're married only after the bills are paid, the house work settled and the homework is checked?   The kids get all the immediate conversation and plans or schedule created around  and then we're "married"....with not much energy left over but a head sunk deep into the pillows and "lights are out"....

If I literally only flipped the script...?

I'm wondering if my heart would be more at peace about how I'm feeling, about us as a couple, overall?

So, back to this quick poll that I did on FB... like I mentioned, I was surprised by some of the answers. This is and was NO WAY a put down to anyone.  I simply wanted to see if anyone would include their spouse - as part of their immediate response.

 Heart-warming to read, there were one or two that mentioned their spouse in their top three.

**

My point being in ALL of this... marriages are on the brink today - for many, varying reasons.  Too many, of them.  Sadly, it is a slow fade and I don't want that to be part of my story.  I want to be aware.  Intentional.  I want US to be together - till death do us part.  And, while our days don't always go down perfectly - at the end of the day - we hold hands together (Praying, often falling asleep together, side-by-side!) that even though we may not always be in agreement on things... the one thing, that is true, is that we are together as "US". 

Thinking about each other first.  Professing our love for one another, to others, as something that we do, (a.k.a. Do What You Love!) - may be part of what it takes to flipping the script.  Amen?

(photo credit: Unsplash)

 Thank you for reading!!!  I appreciate it.

**The book: Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas  

Counting the days

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It's really strange.  We're deeply on our way into the month of August and not much gets written on the calendar, these days.  Is this true for you, too?

Do you miss it?  

One thing... unexpected that happened over the summer is my daughter buckle fractured her forearm and has been sporting a pretty pink, heavily marked up cast.   She's been counting the days for it to come off - which will be early on this coming week - Lord Willing!!  She was so grateful it was her left arm and not her right.  Grateful she saw the blessing... 

Our kids are SOOOO sad that summer vacation probably won't be taking place this year!!   They had been dutifully counting down the days for that to happen and well... it's been a little disappointing to say the least.  We're all going to miss that special time visiting friends and family - in VA and NC!!!   We did however get to squeeze in some summer camps and go for a little family get away, locally, to the mountains... which was really, really awesome!!!   Again.  We see the blessing.

Next - we're taking on a new challenge for our family for school this year.

Cyber Schooling has been on our minds... and so - whether we think we are or we're not, we're literally counting down the days for some sort of new-to-us, school schedule to take place.  

We're nervous.  Yet excited!!

I've never been one to easily embrace change.  But - for some reason.  This feels right.  I truly hope and pray that these days will not just be counted down but will be made to count!!

I think often of the verse in Scripture from Proverbs 31:25, which says...

"She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come."

Here is my prayer.

Clothe my heart, Oh Lord, with strength and dignity... I'm so afraid of change and facing new challenges... allow me to feel your power, your courage and strength.  To take on and go forward with new experiences.  Help me Lord to take "risks"and to enjoy each new experience... knowing it is a total growing process.  There will be no fear in  my heart!  I can laugh at the days to come.

This prayer has been mine for a while now.  I do thank HIM for changing me in this process.  I am braver.  I'm much more courageous than in times past.  I have grown a lot.  In fact, I say - I don't know that I'm the same person (so much) since the first time I've prayed this prayer.  I'm grateful for the days of all that he has blessed me with.  I am grateful for the ones still to come.  I don't know how many I have.  Neither, do you!

As we're counting the days... may we continue to count the blessings even more.

Smile - let it be seen and heard!!

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I'll never forget it.  I was at a business conference - one Friday night and happened to find myself sitting on the front row, which was rather unusual, as I'm not usually a front row girl.  I'm typically that mid row to back of the crowd; end of the line, type of person.   Anyway.

I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.  Our home-based business events are always so fun and they include so much to learn.  I was soaking it all up.  Thoroughly, taking mental notes and such...

After the event.  The two "speakers" came over to chit chat; introduce themselves and what not.  And, one of them, looking right at me - says, "You know.  If it wasn't for your constant smile - I would have had trouble getting through my "presentation"... your beaming smile was so encouraging; so present."

She went on... to say.  That she was extremely nervous that night - her knees shaking the whole time she was speaking - but because of my engaging smile and rapt attention - that it really helped her to pull through.  I had no idea!!!

That isn't the first time - people have commented on me wearing a smile.   Here's the truth. I really made a difference that night, for my friend.  But, here's the thing... I can still take the time to practice wearing it. I have to.   I want to wear it well - all the time!!  Even if no one is looking....and you should, too!!

Wear it well, and often!!!  Let your smile be both seen and heard!!!  

It'll make a difference.

In addition: This home-based business can come with side effects, in products, that may make that smile appear a lot more readily and naturally, than ever before.  For which, I am #sograteful.  I would love to fill you in on that, anytime.  Simply ask.

*** 

Linking up with the Five Minute Friday community - and the prompt for this round is: Smile

   

Re-enter the room!

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My words may seem small this morning but at the same time, they are larger than life to me right now!

Have you ever had a phrase come to mind, that just won't shake?

A couple of weeks ago now - I was off on an errand.  I was by myself and so, of course, plenty of peace and quiet in the car.  A few beautiful moments, for me.

  Although, I will have to say, I pretty much always have the radio playing softly, in the background, when I'm by myself... and, this day was no different.   I have no idea who it was speaking, but someone was being interviewed, and this phrase completely took my breath away.  A tear probably trickled...

"It's time to re-enter the room"

/ˌrēˈen(t)ər/
verb
verb: reenter

enter (something) again 

A verb meaning: to enter again?   In other words.  You've been here once...  It's time to re engage.  

Re engage?  I had to think about this and ask, myself: Where do I need to pause, take a step back and or turn around in order to make a proper reentry?  Ahhh.  Do I truly know what God has called me to?  This question is one that I think a lot of people may have... and maybe never voice.  I don't know.   

So, here I am.  Of course, several categories have quickly come to mind for me to consider...  

First, in areas of home making and the ins and outs of being a wife and mother.  

Secondly, interpersonal relationships and all business aspects.  (Because, as it has been said. "You can do a lot of unimportant things well but that doesn't make it important." Right? Right.) 

And, last but not least (perhaps, this should have been mentioned first)... my prayer life and even in engaging the Holy Spirit for deeper workings in my life.

So, here I stand - at the edge, on the edge, of the threshold.  A crossroad, perhaps.  It's tricky.  I could make myself dizzy thinking about which direction to head first.   But!!! My help does come from Jesus.  The Author and Finisher of my faith. And, it is HIM to whom I will always call upon for my strength and my help in time of need. 

Thank you, for joining me in prayer.

***

PS:  How do you like the photos, I found on my camera?   

Credits to: my amazing kiddos!!!!

Burlap + Kindness

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This morning I took on a challenge.  Well, I attempted to anyway.  It's been on my heart and mind to tackle a project in my kitchen and that being to make curtains out of burlap (I'm using burlap coffee bags).  A friend let me know recently a source where I could get me some... and whalaa!!!  IT TOOK FOREVER - to find the right "coloring" that I wanted.  So... here we are.

It was a beautiful morning, sunny and cool - sitting outdoors - ripping seams.  A simply wonderful time to just sit and pray and reflect.   Why these flowers?   I added them to my table just to tie everything in - for the photo's sake.  Let me tell you a story.

Every morning, before school, I try to read a story of value (tying in Scripture, too) to my kiddos.  This morning it was about kindness and that when you give it away - more will come back to you!  Did you know... that these flowers... zinnias.. are like this.  The more you cut the more they come back.  So, de-head often - and their beauty will keep on coming.  Same is true.. if you give away an act of kindness; a word spoken in love or care; a thoughtful deed... it will come back to you.

I remember saying this often to my kids - 

You can't have it till you give it away.  Love doesn't live in a selfish place.

***

Well, I started this post awhile ago, like as in last year, sometime.  It's been in draft mode ever since.  :( 

 I'm about to wrap up the last of the curtains - it'll be a valance for over my double window at the kitchen sink. I'm hand sewing the seams, for the casings, using the jute I'm pulling out.  It certainly has been a project, one I'm proud of, for sure.  Not hard - just time consuming.  One of the reasons it took me "so long" was I really cared about what kind of day I could be outdoors to do the task.  AND... burlap is a messy thing to work with - especially when it is cut and it frays.  I love the look, though.    And... I'm grateful for the beautiful chance I took on waiting for just the right color/texture of burlap.  

The only thing missing this year are the zinnias.   I didn't get any planted.

But.  Let kindness, love and patience continue.

How

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Do you ever make lists?  

If you are like me - you'll have a list for the list.  Right?  Check. Check.  And, sometimes I'll add things to the list - things that I have already tended to - just to put a line through it, to call it completed, and it somehow makes me feel more accomplished.  I don't know.  I'm funny, like that. :) 

And another thing I wonder, is this.  Is it the list that is what makes things get "done" or is it the "how-to" inside of us that is what motivates and gets things taken care of?   I often say to my kids - "Don't use or lose that paper - it's got my brain on it."  Meaning... the list is there to keep me from losing track of the busy...going on inside my head - but... that is NOT how things get done.  I've got to have a heart and passion or a motivation behind it all... to tend to things or it will never get done.

I'm not so sure how this will tie in - but I'm currently reading a book entitled, "How to Win Friends and Influence People".  If you haven't read it - you should.  I'm only halfway through it.  We're going through the book, as a team for a book study. It's a powerful look - into my heart for what I need in personal growth: How I relate, how I react, how I behave, how I love, how I serve, etc.

Here is my conclusion.  I can "know how" - all I want, but I have to have a "want to" for how it will get done.   Make sense?

***

Linking up with Five Minute Friday and the word prompt - how:

Stay Awhile

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 Stay.   This has got to be one of my MOST favorite words...especially when in the company of a dear and favorite friend.  Either, I've said it often to my parents - as a youngster - when we would be the guests in someone's home.  I would literally beg.... "Can't we stay longer?"  Or, I would and sometimes, still find myself imploring a friend... to stay for just awhile longer - if they were over for just a simple cup of coffee and a chat.  Why change the moment and end it so soon?

Some of my favorite memories are when our kiddos were a lot younger and friends (whom we affectionately termed Fremily) would come over for, say, Sunday Lunch - after service - and we'd be having such a grand ole time; the kiddos playing so hard and the adults chatting it up or doing a project together, with several pots of coffee later.  It was like pulling teeth to separate and because this happened more than once I can safely say it was many a late night that the kids would crash out on the couches or on the floor.    

To me, this word Stay equates to a sense of belonging.  When your heart is "at home"...you want to just stay!!

....

Linking up with the Five Minute Friday (FMF) Community!!  This weeks write-up prompt:

You have a friend in me

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When the floodwaters of the cesspool have come up to your very soul, you don't need challenges: you need comfort.  You need a friend to come alongside and say, "I am hurting with you... I am standing with you... I am weeping with you.  I am undergirding you as best as I can.  Link your shield of faith with mine and somehow we will make it together."   ~ Barbara Johnson

The year of 2020 has sure been an interesting ride.  One thing for sure that has come out of this for our family - has been a "reset".   We're stronger.  We're better together.  We've become better friends.

It's been beautiful!

I'm so grateful.

It really IS a special time!!

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Talk about cultivating relationships - let's start with one way it gets played out at home.  So, this has been (obviously) going on for awhile, now, but... it makes we wonder what "people" think (neighbors, etc.) - and yet, quite frankly, I don't care.  We've been doing this sort of thing since each of our kiddo's first days of school. 

It came to mind the other morning while waiting for the Big Yellow 29 - and I'm out on the porch with my son.  He's twelve.  It was cold.  Like... r e a l l y COLD! outdoors - and I started to do what are something that resembled (ahem!) jumping jacks... just to try to keep warm. And.. this is what I hear.

"Mom! - YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!"

Really?!?!!  I laughed a little.  Thinking here he is - here we are.  From day one of school mornings waiting for the bus... either I'm here or it's my hubby.  Sometimes it is both of us.  Often, just one. Mostly, just me.

Here's the thing.  I'm pretty much 100% positive - while it may "LOOK LIKE" an overprotective parent hanging out - watching every little thing... that there are kids looking on from inside the bus - wishing it was their mamma who was the one who just took 5-7 minutes outdoors, with them.

It is really is a special time.

This is when - prayers get prayed.  Hugs are given.  A listening ear is offered. Maybe a verse or two from Scripture is shared.  A song.  A ditty...a laugh.  A simple conversation.  And... even a kiss on the forehead with that one last affirmation getting shared.   

Yes!! It really is a special time.  And... while that time may be fleeting.  I'm still going to be there - as long as I'm able.  I don't know that there are too many others who still choose or who are able to enjoy these types of moments with their growing kids.

I hope my kids will remember, these times.  I truly hope they choose to cherish these memories as much as I do and will.

** These verses from Ephesians 3:17-19, are my prayer - for my three beautiful blessings!

C U L T I V A T E

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In thinking about a word of the year... this word Cultivate keeps coming to mind.  It's a strong word.  Similar, in a way, to words from the past - such as "grow/growth", "strong/ courageous" - that I've dove into and made my "word(s) for the year".    They too, were strong words.  Deep words.  Hard words.

I will say - I wrestled with this one, as well.  I wasn't sure I wanted to go this involved; dig this deep.  

I do think it is rather interesting how these varying words all tie together...for me!   There must be a greater work - God is calling me, to.  If not greater, per say - it is maybe more of a settling or an enriching...that I need!

There is certainly treasure, here - I need to discover.

Cul | ti | vate (verb)

1. prepare and use for crops and gardening

2. try to acquire or develop ( a quality, sentiment or skill),  pursue

3. win the friendship or favor of (someone)

4. apply oneself to improving or developing (one's mind or manners)

***
People say that 2020 is going to be a momentous year!  I agree.  A lot of changes coming this way...

• Family-wise (I'm going to be aunt again, twice over!  Very exciting!!)
• Friendships/Relationships
• Church
• Home-based business
• in home (house projects)
• Health
• Kindness and (adding) Value

It's challenging to think how to Cultivate might affect each one of these areas.  As I already alluded to... some of these areas really need tending to.   Weeds need to be pulled.  Some need extra nurturing, love and care.  Some areas just need a do-over!!    By and large - this isn't going to all be an easy "row to hoe" !!  Ha!  Do you like my pun, there?    But, I'm excited about the results.  God must really have something here HE wants me to know and discover. 

 But.  you wanna know something?  Truth is... we're only half way through January and I'm already seeing this process of cultivation beginning to happen.

I'm curious.  And, I know I've asked this in last post - some of you answered.  :)
 Do you have a Word for the Year?   If you do, Is it one that will keep you digging?

I want to end my time here today with this poem, from The Book of Virtues.  May it help you and I, as we begin to cultivate...our heart soil!

Count That Day Lost

If you sit down at set of sun
And count the acts that you have done, 
And, counting, find
One self-denying deed, one word
That eased the heart of him who heard, 
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went ---
Then you may count that day well spent.

But if, through all the livelong day, 
You've cheered no heart, by yea or nay ---
If, through it all 
You've nothing done that you can trace
That brought the sunshine to one face ---
No act most small
That helped some soul and nothing cost ---
Then count that day as worse than lost.

~  Mary Ann Evans, (better known as, George Eliot 1819-1880)

Welcome, to 2020

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A brand new year!  Hard to believe we're more than a week in and yet here we are...my first post for the year.  But, if you're like me... I'm having a hard time getting started, obviously.  I've been wanting to amp up my consistency in blogging but, truth is... I've been lollygagging.  Truth is.  My blog has had to undergo a bit of a "rearrange"... if you haven't noticed?

If you haven't, it's okay.  It's probably time for it to not seem "so busy" and go a bit more streamlined.
All that to say.  I sorely miss my "old look" and yet... I hope I can continue sharing here  - as the good Lord leads - without feeling the loss too much.

***

So, how are all my readers?

If you're new here... I say Welcome!!
Thanks for coming by and sticking around - this long.
To my faithful ones... thank you for truly sticking around - this long. :)

Can we talk about a Word for the Year?!?!

Do you have one?  Have you ever had one?
I have, only in the last couple of years...
with words like Grow or Growth, Strong or Courageous...

But... this year.  I keep thinking or feeling the word:

C U L T I V A T E

What do you think this word entails?

I look forward to sharing more about this word for me - in the next post or two.  Until then... God Bless!